Lessons on Trust

My car is the bane of my existence. Either something has broken on it, like my power steering, battery, brakes, and belts (all within 24hrs, mind you), or it doesn’t want to start, usually, for some unknown reason to me.

For all of those reasons, my car is also one of my greatest blessings. It seems hard to believe that a car, which offers so many things wrong with it, could possibly be a blessing in any sort of way, and yet, to me, it is. Oh, I still hate it, cry over it, and want to set it on fire on a regular basis, but I also thank God over it on a regular basis too, because through it he has brought about change and growth in me.

Lately, I’ve been considering selling it or even moving closer to my parents so when something happens I can easily get the help I need, but this past Monday changed something.

The weather had dropped to -50 below zero overnight and despite my hopes and prayers my car wouldn’t start. Almost everyone I knew was at work and I felt horrible asking people who I’ve asked a million times for help to come to my rescue once again. I was prepared to just call into work and deal with it later when my co-worker volunteered to help me jump it. We stood out in the cold (and intermittently inside trying to warm our cold toes) for over an hour trying to get it to start without success. In the end, being the wonderful person she is, she gave me a ride to and from work because it just wouldn’t start. 

Usually, at some point I would have melted into tears because I was just so tired of dealing with the stupid car, but this time I felt a sense of peace invading my soul. Afraid that my battery was shot, and knowing I couldn’t really afford a new one (not after paying for everything else wrong with my car!), I asked my parents to pray and put a request on Facebook asking people to pray because I believed prayer could change things.

When I got home at 12:30 that night my phone read -22 below (without current wind-chill). I knew the chances of my car starting where slim, but I felt a push from God telling me start it anyway. So I pushed the automatic start button and miraculously my car started without problems!

I may hate my car a good 50% of the time, but some of God’s greatest lessons have come through that car. I write about being single, falling in love with God, and trusting him take care of us, but honestly, without that car I wouldn’t even begin to understand what trusting him means.

My car has taught me to trust God even when I have no idea how I’m going to get to work, fix my car, or afford it. But it goes even farther than that. The trust I have to place in God during those times crosses over into the other areas of my life. I’ve started to learn to trust God has plan, one I’ll never understand, but one I’m willing to trust. And really that’s all he wants. Each time I’m in a situation outside my depth he just wants me to trust in his unfailing goodness. He’s never left me alone to deal with the problem. Every time he’s met my needs, admittedly, its after I’ve freaked out for a while despite my desire to trust him right from the start.

In all this, I’m learning to see these moments as blessings hidden in my singleness. If I had a boyfriend or husband I’d be looking to them rather than my heavenly Father. There is something so amazing about watching God at work in ways I could never think up myself. Each time he works a miracle I am humbled and awed by the God who loves me enough to bail me out even when I lack the trust he asks of.

I sat down to write this today because I wanted to give words to the awe I feel in the presence of my Maker and Savior, and yet, I find at the end of it words fall short at describing the overwhelming wonder and joy I feel as I behold his work or the love that pours over me. I can only hope and pray you have felt the same joy and love in the presence of our God that I do every day.