The Pain of Obedience

“Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!”
“Here I am,” he replied.
Then God said, “Take your son , your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you. ”
Genesis 22:1-2

            I can’t begin to imagine what Abraham felt in that moment. Here was his God, the God who had promised him a son, asking him not only to give to his child up, but to slay him with his own hand. God had never asked something so hard, so heart-rending from him before so why was he asking now?

Isaac was the promised child and Abraham loved him. He had waited a hundred years for a son he thought he’d never have, but God promised and God fulfilled and so after countless years of waiting God blessed him with a son. Abraham saw a future in Isaac. A future that looked bright with promise until God spoke that fateful morning.

Perhaps it came out of nowhere or maybe God had been speaking little whispers of warning into Abrahams heart for a while, we’ll never know, what we do know is that Abraham apparently got up and obeyed God without question. 

            I don’t think Abraham slept at all that night. I don’t know if he asked God why or begged him to change his mind, but I am almost absolutely certain he shed tears of pain at the thought of what he was about to do. Despite his pain and probable lack of sleep he got up early the next morning, gathered his son and two servants, and headed out for the place God had told him about. It took them three days to reach the mountain, and yet, somehow, during that time he never uttered a single word of what God was asking him to do. Not a word of the pain he harbored inside or the anguish that had taken his heart captive.  I don’t know how he did it. How he never spoke a word in protest or sought comfort from another person. Those three days had to have been both the quickest and longest days he’d ever experienced.

            When they arrived at the mountain Abraham commanded his servants to stay, gathered Isaac, and headed for the mountain top. On the way up Isaac noticed they were missing the lamb required for the sacrifice and inquired where it was. Somehow, amidst the burning in his chest, Abraham managed to tell him God would provide the sacrifice. 

The choice before Abraham was more than most could bear. Had it been anyone else I image they would have turned around before they ever reached the top, and yet somehow, Abraham trudged on. Each footstep he made harder than the one before until finally, and painfully, they reached the top. There with a numb and bleeding heart Abraham built an altar and bound his beloved son, Isaac, upon it.

How do you explain to your son that you’re about to kill him? I’ve always wondered what words Abraham offered to Isaac to explain what he was about to do. What final words did say to him? And how did he find the strength to tie up his son and place him on the altar? To take up the knife and prepare to deliver the final, fatal strike?  The pain that ripped through him in those final moments was more than words could ever give justice to.

            Then in the last terrible moment God spoke and spared Isaac’s life. In those minutes following God’s pronouncement I imagine Abraham fell to his knees in utter relief and joy. I’m sure tears were shed as relief gave way to thanksgiving. 

            The thing that strikes me the most about this story is Abraham’s absolute obedience despite the enormous pain involved. God asked him to give up the very thing he prized most. Isaac was his biggest dream and his greatest joy and then in one fateful swoop God asked him to give it all up. As far we know Abraham never uttered a word of protest. He just gathered his son and headed out to obey God. Despite the jagged pain that had to have been ripping through him he carried out God’s commanded to the bitter end. 

Thankfully the story ended with a happy ending, but Abraham didn’t know it would end like that. The only thing he knew was that he was going to have to kill his beloved son as the child watched. If that wasn’t bad enough he was going to have to go home without him and tell his people.

 And then there was Sarah. I can’t even begin to imagine how she would have taken the news. Not only was she a mother, but her personality suggests a very strong-willed and proud woman. She would not have taken the news well. I don’t know if she would’ve ever forgiven God or Abraham.

Despite all this Abraham obeyed. This story illustrates once again that obedience is not always easy and sometimes it’s the most painful thing we will ever have to face.