"The Well" by Casting Crowns

I LOVE this song! The words fit perfectly with what God is has been teaching me! I could listen to it over and over!!!!

The Heart of God

Originally Posted Feb 10, 2012

She’s a little girl who seems to come

from the perfect family, but at home

her parents fight and she cries inside

for the love of a father that’s never shown.

She’s older now and a model student.

She always brings home the perfect grades

and she’s class president.

She’s the perfect child, 
yet no one knows she cries inside.
All she wants is

someone to notice the pain she bears

Years have gone by, she’s a mother now

and her husband's left her. She works

at a diner in town. The church folk come

in every Sunday after church.

They’re so engrossed in discussing that mornings

sermon they fail to notice that behind her smiling facade

she cries inside.

Will anyone notice that beneath the

perfect exterior lies a bleeding battered soul?

A soul desperately seeking for someone, anyone,

to notice.

Jesus is reaching out his hands for her,

and upon his face tears flow for her,

yet no one cares to look deeper.

I recently found this written on a piece of paper as I went through some old papers from my teenage years. As I read it, I could barely stop myself from crying. It reminded me so much of the Woman from the Well.  She (the girl above) was so thirsty, so desperate for someone to notice her pain and take action and yet no one cared to look deeper then the surface. How often do we do this in our lives? Maybe we see the pain but it’s too much of a discomfort to reach out and say something. I know I’m guilty of this and yet Jesus’ heart is bleeding right aside hers and asking that I respond. That I step outside of my comfort zone and DO something.

The girl I wrote about in the above story was never someone I had met or even a particular story I had heard. Instead, it was something that I had observed from the world around me. The stories I heard, the people I saw, the TV shows I watched. People are hurting everywhere you look. They’re thirsty and desperately seeking anything that will quench it, but the only thing that can quench the thirst is Christ. If we’re not taking action and showing the way to the living water then who is?

 Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people,  “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” They came out of the town and made their way toward him.

 Meanwhile his disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat something.”

 But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.”

 Then his disciples said to each other, “Could someone have brought him food?”

 “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.  Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. Thus the saying ‘One sows and another reaps’ is true. I sent you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.

-John 4:28-38

My heart breaks for women like one above. For the Women at the Well, for Leah, for Tamar, and countless women like them. I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t even read their stories without crying. Life wasn’t kind to these women and it makes my heart hurt for them, but I also rejoice through my tears because I can see how God reached out to each of them individually. How great his love was for these women who were, on so many occasions, forgotten and tossed aside. He was their Prince Charming where life’s Prince Charmings had failed. He loved them so deeply and perfectly that tears threaten every time I think about it.

Now that I catch these glimpses of God’s love and desire for us it physically hurts my heart to see women who are throwing all their hopes and dreams on flawed men who can never live up to what God has to offer.  When women stay with men who hurt and abuse them, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally all I want to do is show them Jesus and how awesome his love is for them. That they are worth so much more.  He is standing there with arms wide open just waiting for them to take notice.

God uses everyone differently and I believe he calls each of us to different things, but I think God must being calling me to these women for my heart to hurt this much over their pain.  The idea of it scares me because I have no idea how he can use me. But I know that as long as I’m pliable in his hands he will use me where he wants. I just need to listen and obey even when I have to step outside of my comfort zone. But hey, some of life’s greatest stories exist outside of our comfort zones!

Today my challenge to anyone who reads this, is not to walk and away and forget what you’ve read but to actively look at what God is doing in your life.  What is he asking you to do? Is it hard and maybe even daunting? Is it outside your comfort zone? Maybe all he’s asking for right now is your time– time spent with him. He can use you best when you’re spending time with him. He may not be touching your heart the same way he’s touching mine, but he is definitely at work in some way, you just have to listen.

"Does Anybody Hear Her"  By Casting Crowns

The Woman at the Well- Part B

 Originally Posted on Jan 18, 2012

*This is a continuation of the original blog (seen below) entitled “Woman at the Well”*

This chapter humbles me in way I can hardly explain. Here was woman hurting, forsaken and ridiculed by those around her, and yet Jesus reaches out and draws her in. He searches her out and touches her heart wanting to heal her wounds.

            This was a woman that I would probably have walked right on by without a thought. A woman that I would have heard gossip about and thought to myself, “Wow, I’m glad that’s not me.” I probably wouldn’t have made an effort to get to know her, let alone notice the hurt inside. Yet Jesus stopped, as the world went on around them, and drew her to himself. Seeking to heal the hurt he could see so clearly in her eyes. Her reputation never stopped him, in fact it probably drew him to her. He was always spending time with the less desirable people in society. He knew they were the most aware of their thirst, of their need for him. What they were and where they had been played no part in how Jesus saw them; he was only concerned with the state of their hearts, just as he is with each one of us.

I sit here with tears in my eyes as I think about this woman alone and hurting and yet I ignore those around me every day who are just like her. I sit in my semi-perfect little world so glad that Jesus offers me the living water every day, never caring if others are finding the same water. How can I sit so complacently by when hearts are bleeding? How can I ignore when people are thirsty and searching? ….. How can I?

I know the following scripture is about Jesus, but is has always touched my heart and I felt that it fit here.

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners.

-Isaiah 61:1

The Woman at the Well

Originally posted on Jan 8, 2012

John 4:1-42

            For the last couple of months I’ve been drawn to the story of the Woman at the Well over and over. I don’t really know why except that God must have something to teach to me. All I know is that I could read this passage over and over. Something in it just pulls me in and it amazes me the things God is showing me. Things I had never thought of before. I still have a lot from to learn from it, but I wanted to share a few things that God has been opening my heart to.

            This passage got me thinking about what life was like for this woman. It’s a short chapter so there’s not a lot of information.  You have to look between the lines a little to catch a glimpse of her life and even then its only speculation. What I’ve written below only gives an idea of what I think she was thinking and feeling.

Now he had to go through Samaria. ⁵ So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. ⁶ Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.

             ⁷ When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” ⁸ (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

-John 4:4-8

One commentator states that there several wells closer to town but she headed for the furthest one. It makes me wonder why. Was she trying to avoid the other women as they headed for the well? Here was a woman who had been divorced five times and now she was living with a man who was not her husband. She had been kicked aside so many times, had been told over and over that she wasn’t wanted. She probably thought she wasn’t good for much and didn’t deserve more then she had out of life.

If anyone had asked her ten, fifteen years ago if she’d be living with a man outside marriage she would have emphatically said no, but life had happened and it had worn away at the woman she had been.  In its place, it had left a woman scarred and broken. To the world, she showed a woman who didn’t care what people thought. She told herself it was easier that way, it hurt less. It didn’t matter that it was lie, that deep inside she bled every time they taunted or ignored her, when men dropped her on the wayside as soon as they found something better.  All that really mattered was that no one saw how deeply they’d wounded her. She may not have acknowledged it but deep inside, under the all scars, all she really wished for was for someone to want and need her, but life had taught her dreams never come true. So she moved through life putting up walls in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the world from hurting her again.

Life passed by, and then on one ordinary day at an ordinary well, Jesus showed up.  He knew about her before he ever showed up at that well. He knew about her heartrending pain. How her life seemed to stretch out before her like a barren wasteland. How everyday it was an effort just put one foot in front of the other. How little by little she was dying of thirst, never knowing how to quench its fire. But Jesus knew the answer and so he came and met her in the everyday moments of her life.

She woke up that day and went about life just as she did every day; nothing extraordinary happened that morning to warn her life would never be the same. At noon she headed for the well avoiding the other women, it’s not as if they’d talk to her anyway, even if they did it would only be cutting remarks. 

Finally, after a long trek, she reaches the well only to find a man, a Jew, sitting on the edge of the well. She cringes inside and considers for a moment coming back later, but she knows she needs the water. She doesn’t relish the thought of the long walk back, only to come back again later, so she hefts her jug higher and heads for the well. She keeps her head down and walks quickly to the opposite side of the well.

“Could I have a drink?” a voice speaks. The woman looks up in confusion looking around for the person he is speaking to only to realize there is no one there but her and the man.  She cautiously speaks to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?”

Let’s pause for a moment and look at what Jesus was doing. He didn’t jump in and start cramming his message down her throat; instead, he draws her attention with a question. It doesn’t seem like much but he knew it’d get her attention. Here was a man, a Jew, asking a Samaritan, a woman no less, for a drink of water. Jews didn’t talk to Samaritans, especially not a woman. But now that he had her attention, he could slowly draw her in and capture her curiosity before leading her to the ultimate goal– her need for God.

I can just imagine the thoughts racing through her head as she stared at him incredulously, “Why was this man asking me for a drink? Why is he even talking to me? Was he crazy? Should I run? If I scream, will anyone hear me? WHAT is going on?!  Maybe, even as these thoughts raced through her head, she edges a little further away from him.

To her surprise, Jesus speaks to her AGAIN! “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

Well settles that she decides. He really is crazy! He’s talking about some “living water,” what is that? I mean he doesn’t even have a bucket! (I wonder if Jesus chuckled a little inside at that moment knowing what was going through her head?) And so she scoffs, “Sir you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?”

I imagine he smiled at her as he spoke, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

This draws her attention, despite her belief he might be a little crazy. If such water did exist, she would never have to haul water again and best of all she’d never have to encounter the women on her way either!

Jesus knew about this desire, but while he cared about her physical wants and desires, he cared more about the spiritual and emotional. He knew he could fulfill the greater thirst within her, her thirst to be accepted for who she was flaws and all. She wanted an unconditional love and as he sat on that dusty well, that is what he offered her.  Here was a woman no one wanted, a woman no one wanted to associate with, and yet he started up a conversation with her because he cared. He loved her despite the scars, insecurities, anger, and the hidden and not so hidden sins. He wanted to fill her barren life with abundance and goodness. And so he reached out and offered the one thing that would give life to that landscape--his living water.

Despite this, he knows she still doesn’t understand so he tells her to go and bring her husband.

Instantly shame fills her and she hangs her head a little lower. She can barely get the words out past the shame blocking her throat. “I have no husband,” she tells him.

“I know,” says the man “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

She blushes in shame and wishes the ground would open up and swallow her. But wait, she pauses. How could he know? He is a stranger here, how does he know these things about her? Her eyes widen in shock, could it be that he is a prophet? Could she be standing here talking to a prophet of God?!

Jesus stopped in the middle of the busyness of life to reach out to a woman desperately thirsty for God.  He knew her need and dropped everything for her. I like how Amy Nappa says it in her book “Thirsty”:

“It’s almost as if Jesus made a note in his appointment book: ‘Thursday, meet the woman at the well. Don’t be late.’…  He went out of his way to wait for her. And he does the same for you and me today, finding us in those unexpected places and moments.

Why did God choose that day, and that place, to open the floodgates of heaven and pour out his love into her soul? To let her go thirsty through so many years of heartbreak and husbands and debasement before her community of peers? I honestly don’t know. Who knows why God does anything, really? But I do know this: He came. And when she wasn’t there, he waited patiently for her until her own need drove her straight to his presence. And he met her, of all places, by the side of an ancient, dirty, much used, mundane, grimy well.”

He is meeting us in the everyday moments of our lives, seeking to fill the thirst we have.  Each of us broken inside in some way or another, each of us has a barren waste land that we travel , even if we don’t always knowledge it. Jesus is waiting there beside his well of living water for us to come to him in the midst of our busy day so he can pour that living water out on our dry parched life.

I find that in my life I tend to walk by that well over and over without ever stopping. I think I’m doing fine. I don’t feel my thirst until I stop for a sip and realize that I’m thirstier then I realized. So please stop for moment and let Jesus fill up the dry parched landscape of your life. Trust me when I say the encounter with Jesus is worth more than anything else you might be missing as you stop in the midst of your busy life. He’s sitting there patiently waiting; will you stop and let him fill you up?

There is so much more to this story. So much more her story, to what she learned, and how Jesus used her to bring her small town to himself, but I’m going to stop here for now. Hopefully in the near future I’ll get to the rest of her story!

“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, ¹⁴ but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:13

Learning to Let Go

Originally Posted Aug 17, 2011

“Give me all of you!!! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!! I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to KILL IT! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self—in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.”
                                                                          –C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)

Painful but true. I think the hardest part is realizing I have to give up my all of my wants and wishes and dreams. The very things that make me me, but that’s what he asking.  I have to give everything I am, everything I hoped for, every plan I’ve made  because if I don’t I’m not truly following, listening, or changing. He’s either Lord of all or Lord of none so I must learn to endure the painful in order to truly understand and enjoy what he is offering.

But to understand that I am to give up everything is a very staggering concept. The very things that I hold dear, the things that are mine and mine alone, he’s asking for them. He’s standing there with his hand out stretch waiting for me to place them in his palm, yet all I can do is grasp them even tighter to my chest and wonder to myself how I can I possibly give these up? How can I give up what I perceive to be the very essence of myself? (Conveniently ignoring the fact that they are not nor have they ever been). In a way, I feel that they are the very things that prop me up and keep me going.  I’m afraid that if I let them go I will fall.  So the question becomes am I willing to let it all go and trust that God will catch me when I fall? Even then I imagine that when he catches me it will hurt because I the things that I have built around me are being torn away.

Am I willing to do this?  To stand through the fire as He remolds me into something new? Sometimes I think I’m frightened to let go because I’m afraid that the new self with new hopes, and plans, and dreams will not be as wonderful as the old ones. I know this is an untruth but Satan slips in there and whispers his lies and because I’m so desperately afraid I cling to them and tell God that there’s no way the other side of the pain could be better. It is said that sometimes the fear of pain is often worse than the actual pain itself. I think that’s case as I stand here desperately holding onto my hopes and dreams, just as child holds onto the dirty tattered remains of a beloved blanket. I’m more afraid of the idea of pain then the actuality of it. But when placed in contrast to the pain suffered on the cross how can I not suffer for a little while in light of what he’s done for me? Besides I’m promised that the other side so much better than I can imagine. I just have to learn to let go.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

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