Waiting-When We Don't Want To; For the Girls, Part 5: Singleness

I hate waiting. I hate waiting for a new book to come in the mail or the next Netflix DVD to arrive. I hate waiting for the cookies to come out of the oven or for vacation to start. Despite my dislike of waiting there is nothing I can do to make time move faster. The cookies won’t bake faster just because I want to eat them and the next DVD won’t come in the mail just because I wish it to be so. Like it or not waiting is a part of life I can’t avoid or make go faster. Time will plod on or zip past at its normal speed no matter what I do.

Patience has become a lost art in our culture. If we want a mocha latte we hop in the car and drive down to the nearest coffee shop to order ourselves one. If the movie rental place doesn’t have the movie we want we can easily go online and order it through the mail. In a day or two we’ll be in front of the T.V. enjoying our latest selection. 

Almost anything we desire can be found online. Want a bluetooth lock for your front door? Just head on over to Amazon and order yourself one. How about information on the indigenousness people of Australia? Well, Google’s got about 1,323 pages of suggestions for you. Almost anything we question or want can be found by typing a few keywords into the search engine of our choice. 

Instant gratification is one of the reasons waiting on God’s timing is so hard. I can’t tell you how many times I found myself with fingers hovering over the keyboard trying to think of a way I could word my query so Google would tell me where to find my future husband. Obviously, Google can’t tell me where he is and neither can anyone else, but it’s been so ingrained into me to turn to Google with my unanswered questions that my brain automatically directs me there.

Despite my desire to trust God and wait on his timing I still struggle with why he is making me wait. If he hasn’t made Sally, Michael, or Beth wait, why must I? I think it’s a question that lies heavy on the hearts of many of us. We’ve been faithful, we’ve waited, and we’ve obeyed even when it’s been hard, and yet we’re still single while the rest of our friends date, get married, and have children.

I’ve come to the conclusion that God keeps us single for a reason. I look back on the years that have past and I can clearly see, had I been married at a younger age, I would have matured differently. I would have been shaped by my husband as much as he was shaped by me. I believe the twenty-seven years of the singleness God has sent my way have shaped me for a future only he can see. I’ve been set upon this path because the character and personality I am molding today is needed for the future he has planned for me. Despite my longing for a companion along the journey of life I know his plans lead to sweeter places than I could dream up on my own. His way is always better than my own.

There was point in my life where I tried online dating. It was horrible tortuous affair. Not because of people on the sites, but because deep down I felt as though I was pushing my agenda over God’s. He’d prod me to listen, but I was lonely and tired of being alone, so I’d find ways to justify keeping my account open. Things like: since there’s no eligible men here I guess my only option is finding them online, or, I’m getting older and I need to find someone soon. However, God slowly poked holes in all my arguments, and even though I didn’t necessarily want to, I reluctantly closed my account (since then, I’m immensely glad I did).

I’m not saying online dating is bad, but I get the feeling that many of us use it as a way of circumventing God’s design for our lives. In effect, it’s us stating that God isn’t powerful or all-knowing enough to send us the correct mate. And if he’s not powerful enough to send them along, then we need to go out and find them ourselves. If we believe God can send the perfect person along then it shouldn’t matter if we're living in a hut in Africa or the heart of New York. Where ever we are, God is faithful to send the right person along, at the right time, if it’s within his plan for our life.

At some point, while in college, I was given the impression I was still single because I hadn’t yet learned to be fully satisfied by God. If I wanted to get married, I needed to grow closer to him and learn to be completely and fully satisfied by him. Once I reached that fabled point God would finally grant me a husband. 

I think most of us have been fed this lie.And yet, I know, no matter how hard I try, my relationship with God will never be perfect. It will never reach a place where I feel I no longer need to grow. Each day I grow closer to him only amplifies the fact that I still have so much further to go. It shows me how very much I still need him and how very far I am from being fully satisfied in him. And I bet, if you asked any of your married friends, you’d find none of them felt they had the perfect relationship with God before they were married (or after) either.  It’s a continual growth process that will last me until old age and beyond.

                I can choose to see my years of waiting as blessing or a curse. I can bemoan my single state or I can learn to see the beauty of it. If I spend my single years angry, depressed, dissatisfied, or always waiting to live my life until my spouse shows up I’m going to miss out on all the opportunities God has placed before me to serve him and the blessings that go along with them.

                I’d rather live out my single years, whether they last one year or fifty, living for God and falling deeper into his heart, than sitting by waiting to live until I’m married. Should he never show I’d have lived a wasted life, and even if he did, I’d have still lived wasted years waiting for him. These years of waiting have been given as gift and I must choose to accept them with grace and joy or disdain and ungratefulness.

                There is something inexplicably precious about getting to know the Lord with just you and him. No spouse to distract you. No children to put first. Just you and him and the chance to know each other intimately. So precious a gift is often missed when we pine for future things over the gift of the present.

I leave you with the beautiful and convicting words of Elizabeth-Ann Horsford,

“One of the greatest advantages of the single life is freedom -- freedom to come and go as much as we please without having to consult with husband, wife or children.... But freedom does have responsibility. One day I shall have to account for how I used my freedom. Have I been selfishly indulgent, living to please myself, wasting my time? Have I spent my time wallowing in self-pity about my single state or about some problem? ... One of the keys to a fulfilled life is a willingness to give ourselves for others. Jesus said, 'For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.' ”

The Gift of Life

For those who don’t understand the life Jesus offers, what does this mean? What is this life? Nicodemus (a learned scholar) asked Jesus the same question in John 3. Jesus had just finished telling him that no one could see heaven until they were born again. This confused Nicodemus. He couldn’t understand how someone could be born again when they were old.  I’m sure he stared at Jesus with confusion written all over his face as he voiced his next question, “How can someone who is old be born again? Can they enter their mother’s womb a second time?” But Jesus wasn’t talking about a physical birth—he was talking about a spiritual birth, A birth we need because we're dying of sin. All of us are dying in the physical sense. We’re all slowly aging and some day we will breathe our last. None of us can escape that reality, but the Bible isn’t talking about our physical death. Instead it is referring to the fate of our souls. 

What does this mean? How are we dying from sin? The Bible says “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).” It also says, “That the wages of sin is death (eternal death), but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 6:23).” Many of us think that we are basically good; that we’ve never done anything bad enough for God to punish us for, but that’s not the case. As soon as we told our very first white lie, disobeyed our parents, or failed to return something we had borrowed our souls were sentenced to everlasting punishment in hell. 

God is a pure and holy God which means he can’t live with sin. There was once a time when men and women were without sin, but they were given free will and they chose to disobey God. In that instant they cursed the human race with a disease called “sin.” From the moment we take our first breath to the moment we take our last we are condemned to the punishment sin has placed upon us—separation from God and an eternity in hell.

But that isn’t the end of the story. God loves us so much that he gave us his only son to come down to earth as a man and die in our place. The amazing wonder of this act still astounds me; that an almighty God loves us enough to die in our place. It wasn’t an easy death either. He was beaten, tortured, and ridiculed. They whipped him (probably with a whip that had glass pieces on the ends), placed long thorns twisted into a crown upon his head, made him carry his own cross through town, nailed him to the very same cross, broke his legs, and shoved a spear through his side. 

Dying on a cross is not a pleasant death. They take 3 inch long nails and pound them through your wrists and feet. Then they hoist you into the air to hang by them. Death isn’t caused by the nails but rather by suffocation. Once you are no longer able to hold yourself up you slowly suffocate. With your arms above your head it is impossible to draw enough air in after a while. I was once told that the pain of having those nails pounded into your wrists would be 10 times worse than hitting your funny bone. 

Can you imagine going through all that pain just to save people who hated you, broken your heart time and time again, turned their backs on you, and worst of all ignored you. And yet he did it. That He would love me this much dumbfounds me. I know I’m not worthy of his love and yet he offers it freely every day. There are no strings attached all I have to do is accept it.

Where we will go when we die is up to each one of us individually. It’s not up to our grandparents, our parents, or our siblings. It is a personal decision each one of us must make on our own. So where will you go—heaven or hell? Without Jesus there is no hope of eternal life in heaven. 

So the question is what must we do to be saved? Acts 16:31 states, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.” Jesus is the hope we all need--the One who brings life to our dying souls. Jeremiah 29:12-14 says, “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord.”

Jesus is calling your name today. He is calling you to himself, begging you to notice him and his all-encompassing love and compassion. If you can feel him calling you today and would like to answer, all it takes is for you acknowledging that he is God, that you are a sinner, and that you need his saving grace. Please listen to his call. He loves you so very much and he wants nothing more than to enfold you in his loving arms.

If you accepted him today I beg you to find a fellow Christ-follower and/or church. Choosing to follow him is just the first step. Just as young children need guidance and support so to do we. 

I would love to hear from any of you, whether you made a decision today or not. Maybe you have questions or just need someone to talk to. Either way I’m here to help or listen. If you would like to contact me my e-mail is maijamae@gmail.com. If you send me message please title it “Relentlessly Pursued” so I know it’s from you. I would feel horrible if I accidently deleted a message from someone thinking it was junk mail.

On a closing note I just want to let you know that once we’ve asked Jesus for forgiveness and invited him into our lives all our sins are forgiven and forgotten, but that doesn’t mean the scars from the past are gone. We may still be broken and hurting but Jesus will walk with us through the pain as we begin the healing process. Sometimes he sends people into our lives to walk with us through the pain and sometimes he tells us his grace is sufficient, but either way he won’t leave you alone to walk unaided.

Remind Me Who I Am

~~ I sit on the garden bench waiting for him. Normally I am happy and excited for him to arrive, but today I am nervous, and yes, a little scared. For I have done something shameful and I have broken his trust. I know I must confess, but he must already know. How could he not?  In agitation I begin to pace. I am torn between wanting him to show and hoping that he doesn’t. If he doesn’t come I won’t have to face what I have done but I know that if he doesn’t it will be all I can think about.

There! I hear his soft footsteps on the grass. As he comes around the last shrub I am half turned away, poised to flee at the slightest hint of anger. He comes and stands before me and for several tension filled moments silence reigns. Finally he speaks and the pain I hear in his voice breaks my heart. Tears course down my face. I managed to choke out that I am sorry and I beg for his forgiveness. 

I feel a feather light stroke on my hair and I hear his soft voice uttering the three words I long to hear-- I forgive you. 

Those three little words should be enough, but I find no relief. He may have forgiven me, but I have yet to forgive myself. I turn to flee for his presence is too hard to bear at present. He reaches out a hand to grasp arm, to bring me back to him, but I shrug it off and disappear behind the gate.~~

A couple of weeks ago I crawled in to bed and sent up my normal nightly prayer. I hurriedly asked that God would keep us safe during the night and that I would have peaceful and restful night of sleep.  I shied away from anything more than that because I was afraid, insecure, and ashamed.

 I knew that I had disobeyed God, and while, I had gone before God, confessed my sin, and asked for his forgiveness I felt as though I was repeating the same sins over and over again. It was as if I was in a vicious circle that went around and around and never ended. I knew that God forgives us and casts our sins as far as the east is from the west, but how could he keep forgiving me? Yes, I was truly sorry for what I had done and I was prepared to accept his discipline, but surely there was an end to his patience and forgiveness. So in my humiliation and pain I chose to avoid God. Afraid of what I would find if I let myself back into his presence.  So I shut him out, put my headphones in, and turned on my music. 

God, however, had other plans. He had been whispering into my heart for a while, asking me to stop running, but I had ignored his whispers to insecure and angry at myself to listen. But in my hurried attempts to avoid God I forgot one very important fact. He wasn’t going to sit passively by waiting for me shape up and listen. No, he was going to keep on doing what he’s always done—relentlessly pursuing me. That is the beauty of God’s all-consuming love--he fights for us even when we feel we’re not worth fighting for. So even though I shut God out he still found a way to creep back in. 

That night as I turned my music on a song began to play that I had never heard before. From the very first verse I could hear God speaking to me and for once I listened. The song was entitled “Remind Me Who I am” by Jason Gray. In the song he sings, 

When I lose My way,
And I forget my name,
Remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see,
Is who I don't wanna be,
Remind me who I am.
In the loneliest places,
When I can't remember what grace is.

Chorus:
Tell me once again who I am to you.
Who I am to you.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to you.
That I belong to you.
To you.

Verse 2:
When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home,
Remind me who I am.
When I can't receive your love,
Afraid I'll never be enough,
Remind me who I am.
If I am your beloved,
Can you help me believe it.

Those words pierced my soul. I had forgotten what grace looked like and I had been running far from home. I was having a hard time receiving God’s love because I felt I wasn’t, nor would I ever be, enough. God saw things differently though and he wanted to remind me of it.  For no matter where I go or what I do I WILL ALWAYS BELONG TO HIM. Those words hit me like a mac truck. How could I have forgotten that? 

God used the song to reach into my heart and make me pay attention to him. I needed to be reminded of who I was in him. That no matter what I did, no matter where I went, I would always be his beloved. Just because I am faithless doesn’t mean he is (Rom 3:3). Even in my sin and shame he is always faithful. God’s character and how he acts towards me is not based on my faithfulness towards him. I can grieve him and break his heart but that won’t change his love, his very character. He has always and will always remain faithful to me even when I am faithless.

Since that night God has teaching me about grace. Grace is not deserved in any sort of way. It is a gift that is given freely. It is not something I can earn or buy my way towards. I know that, I’ve always known that, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling as though I need to prove myself to him. Sure I’ll come before him and confess my wrongs, but I don’t feel free to spend time with him until I’ve proven that I can conquer the sin. Somehow I always seem to forget that I am sinful creature and no matter how hard I try I am always going to commit some form wrong at some point or another. I cannot beat this. It is the reality of being a part of a fallen world.

At some point I realized that I had been imagining God coming to meeting me in the garden of my soul. Once there he would tell me that I needed work on a certain area of my life. Just before he leaves he turns around and informs me that once I’ve fixed this area then I may come back and look for him. I believe this is a vicious lie that Satan has placed in my life in order to separate me from the God who longs to help me. Yes, he asks me to clean up parts of my life, to change those things that don’t honor him, but he doesn’t leave me alone to accomplish the task. He stays by my side to encourage and help me through the often painful ordeal.

Lately I haven’t felt as though I’ve really allowed God to work in my life, but as I write this I’m coming to the realization of how much he’s been teaching me. It’s amazing how much he touches my life even when I’m a stubborn, annoying, and willful child. I honestly can say that I could never put into words how much he truly loves me and I am humbled by that realization. To realize that the almighty God loves me more than words and actions can say even when I am horrible wretch in need of his saving grace.

~~ I enter the garden hesitantly afraid that he will be there and rebuff me. I peer around a shrub only to see him sitting on the bench quietly staring off into space. My heart sinks a little, but I know must go forward. So I take a deep breath and slowly slink around the bush until I am fully in garden. I no longer have anything to hide behind and I am terrified. Suddenly he looks up and sees me standing there hesitantly. I imagine I resemble a rabbit poised to flee at the slightest hint of danger. But instead of the anger or indifference I expect to find a radiant smile breaks out on his face. He stands and opens his arms wide beckoning me to come to his warmth and love. With a sob of relief I launch myself into arms and there I find the refuge, love, joy and  relief I’ve been searching for. He whispers quietly, so quietly I almost miss it, “Welcome home Beloved.” ~~

The Heart of God

Originally Posted Feb 10, 2012

She’s a little girl who seems to come

from the perfect family, but at home

her parents fight and she cries inside

for the love of a father that’s never shown.

She’s older now and a model student.

She always brings home the perfect grades

and she’s class president.

She’s the perfect child, 
yet no one knows she cries inside.
All she wants is

someone to notice the pain she bears

Years have gone by, she’s a mother now

and her husband's left her. She works

at a diner in town. The church folk come

in every Sunday after church.

They’re so engrossed in discussing that mornings

sermon they fail to notice that behind her smiling facade

she cries inside.

Will anyone notice that beneath the

perfect exterior lies a bleeding battered soul?

A soul desperately seeking for someone, anyone,

to notice.

Jesus is reaching out his hands for her,

and upon his face tears flow for her,

yet no one cares to look deeper.

I recently found this written on a piece of paper as I went through some old papers from my teenage years. As I read it, I could barely stop myself from crying. It reminded me so much of the Woman from the Well.  She (the girl above) was so thirsty, so desperate for someone to notice her pain and take action and yet no one cared to look deeper then the surface. How often do we do this in our lives? Maybe we see the pain but it’s too much of a discomfort to reach out and say something. I know I’m guilty of this and yet Jesus’ heart is bleeding right aside hers and asking that I respond. That I step outside of my comfort zone and DO something.

The girl I wrote about in the above story was never someone I had met or even a particular story I had heard. Instead, it was something that I had observed from the world around me. The stories I heard, the people I saw, the TV shows I watched. People are hurting everywhere you look. They’re thirsty and desperately seeking anything that will quench it, but the only thing that can quench the thirst is Christ. If we’re not taking action and showing the way to the living water then who is?

 Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people,  “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” They came out of the town and made their way toward him.

 Meanwhile his disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat something.”

 But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.”

 Then his disciples said to each other, “Could someone have brought him food?”

 “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.  Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. Thus the saying ‘One sows and another reaps’ is true. I sent you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.

-John 4:28-38

My heart breaks for women like one above. For the Women at the Well, for Leah, for Tamar, and countless women like them. I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t even read their stories without crying. Life wasn’t kind to these women and it makes my heart hurt for them, but I also rejoice through my tears because I can see how God reached out to each of them individually. How great his love was for these women who were, on so many occasions, forgotten and tossed aside. He was their Prince Charming where life’s Prince Charmings had failed. He loved them so deeply and perfectly that tears threaten every time I think about it.

Now that I catch these glimpses of God’s love and desire for us it physically hurts my heart to see women who are throwing all their hopes and dreams on flawed men who can never live up to what God has to offer.  When women stay with men who hurt and abuse them, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally all I want to do is show them Jesus and how awesome his love is for them. That they are worth so much more.  He is standing there with arms wide open just waiting for them to take notice.

God uses everyone differently and I believe he calls each of us to different things, but I think God must being calling me to these women for my heart to hurt this much over their pain.  The idea of it scares me because I have no idea how he can use me. But I know that as long as I’m pliable in his hands he will use me where he wants. I just need to listen and obey even when I have to step outside of my comfort zone. But hey, some of life’s greatest stories exist outside of our comfort zones!

Today my challenge to anyone who reads this, is not to walk and away and forget what you’ve read but to actively look at what God is doing in your life.  What is he asking you to do? Is it hard and maybe even daunting? Is it outside your comfort zone? Maybe all he’s asking for right now is your time– time spent with him. He can use you best when you’re spending time with him. He may not be touching your heart the same way he’s touching mine, but he is definitely at work in some way, you just have to listen.

"Does Anybody Hear Her"  By Casting Crowns

The Woman at the Well- Part B

 Originally Posted on Jan 18, 2012

*This is a continuation of the original blog (seen below) entitled “Woman at the Well”*

This chapter humbles me in way I can hardly explain. Here was woman hurting, forsaken and ridiculed by those around her, and yet Jesus reaches out and draws her in. He searches her out and touches her heart wanting to heal her wounds.

            This was a woman that I would probably have walked right on by without a thought. A woman that I would have heard gossip about and thought to myself, “Wow, I’m glad that’s not me.” I probably wouldn’t have made an effort to get to know her, let alone notice the hurt inside. Yet Jesus stopped, as the world went on around them, and drew her to himself. Seeking to heal the hurt he could see so clearly in her eyes. Her reputation never stopped him, in fact it probably drew him to her. He was always spending time with the less desirable people in society. He knew they were the most aware of their thirst, of their need for him. What they were and where they had been played no part in how Jesus saw them; he was only concerned with the state of their hearts, just as he is with each one of us.

I sit here with tears in my eyes as I think about this woman alone and hurting and yet I ignore those around me every day who are just like her. I sit in my semi-perfect little world so glad that Jesus offers me the living water every day, never caring if others are finding the same water. How can I sit so complacently by when hearts are bleeding? How can I ignore when people are thirsty and searching? ….. How can I?

I know the following scripture is about Jesus, but is has always touched my heart and I felt that it fit here.

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners.

-Isaiah 61:1

The Woman at the Well

Originally posted on Jan 8, 2012

John 4:1-42

            For the last couple of months I’ve been drawn to the story of the Woman at the Well over and over. I don’t really know why except that God must have something to teach to me. All I know is that I could read this passage over and over. Something in it just pulls me in and it amazes me the things God is showing me. Things I had never thought of before. I still have a lot from to learn from it, but I wanted to share a few things that God has been opening my heart to.

            This passage got me thinking about what life was like for this woman. It’s a short chapter so there’s not a lot of information.  You have to look between the lines a little to catch a glimpse of her life and even then its only speculation. What I’ve written below only gives an idea of what I think she was thinking and feeling.

Now he had to go through Samaria. ⁵ So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. ⁶ Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.

             ⁷ When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” ⁸ (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

-John 4:4-8

One commentator states that there several wells closer to town but she headed for the furthest one. It makes me wonder why. Was she trying to avoid the other women as they headed for the well? Here was a woman who had been divorced five times and now she was living with a man who was not her husband. She had been kicked aside so many times, had been told over and over that she wasn’t wanted. She probably thought she wasn’t good for much and didn’t deserve more then she had out of life.

If anyone had asked her ten, fifteen years ago if she’d be living with a man outside marriage she would have emphatically said no, but life had happened and it had worn away at the woman she had been.  In its place, it had left a woman scarred and broken. To the world, she showed a woman who didn’t care what people thought. She told herself it was easier that way, it hurt less. It didn’t matter that it was lie, that deep inside she bled every time they taunted or ignored her, when men dropped her on the wayside as soon as they found something better.  All that really mattered was that no one saw how deeply they’d wounded her. She may not have acknowledged it but deep inside, under the all scars, all she really wished for was for someone to want and need her, but life had taught her dreams never come true. So she moved through life putting up walls in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the world from hurting her again.

Life passed by, and then on one ordinary day at an ordinary well, Jesus showed up.  He knew about her before he ever showed up at that well. He knew about her heartrending pain. How her life seemed to stretch out before her like a barren wasteland. How everyday it was an effort just put one foot in front of the other. How little by little she was dying of thirst, never knowing how to quench its fire. But Jesus knew the answer and so he came and met her in the everyday moments of her life.

She woke up that day and went about life just as she did every day; nothing extraordinary happened that morning to warn her life would never be the same. At noon she headed for the well avoiding the other women, it’s not as if they’d talk to her anyway, even if they did it would only be cutting remarks. 

Finally, after a long trek, she reaches the well only to find a man, a Jew, sitting on the edge of the well. She cringes inside and considers for a moment coming back later, but she knows she needs the water. She doesn’t relish the thought of the long walk back, only to come back again later, so she hefts her jug higher and heads for the well. She keeps her head down and walks quickly to the opposite side of the well.

“Could I have a drink?” a voice speaks. The woman looks up in confusion looking around for the person he is speaking to only to realize there is no one there but her and the man.  She cautiously speaks to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?”

Let’s pause for a moment and look at what Jesus was doing. He didn’t jump in and start cramming his message down her throat; instead, he draws her attention with a question. It doesn’t seem like much but he knew it’d get her attention. Here was a man, a Jew, asking a Samaritan, a woman no less, for a drink of water. Jews didn’t talk to Samaritans, especially not a woman. But now that he had her attention, he could slowly draw her in and capture her curiosity before leading her to the ultimate goal– her need for God.

I can just imagine the thoughts racing through her head as she stared at him incredulously, “Why was this man asking me for a drink? Why is he even talking to me? Was he crazy? Should I run? If I scream, will anyone hear me? WHAT is going on?!  Maybe, even as these thoughts raced through her head, she edges a little further away from him.

To her surprise, Jesus speaks to her AGAIN! “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

Well settles that she decides. He really is crazy! He’s talking about some “living water,” what is that? I mean he doesn’t even have a bucket! (I wonder if Jesus chuckled a little inside at that moment knowing what was going through her head?) And so she scoffs, “Sir you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?”

I imagine he smiled at her as he spoke, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

This draws her attention, despite her belief he might be a little crazy. If such water did exist, she would never have to haul water again and best of all she’d never have to encounter the women on her way either!

Jesus knew about this desire, but while he cared about her physical wants and desires, he cared more about the spiritual and emotional. He knew he could fulfill the greater thirst within her, her thirst to be accepted for who she was flaws and all. She wanted an unconditional love and as he sat on that dusty well, that is what he offered her.  Here was a woman no one wanted, a woman no one wanted to associate with, and yet he started up a conversation with her because he cared. He loved her despite the scars, insecurities, anger, and the hidden and not so hidden sins. He wanted to fill her barren life with abundance and goodness. And so he reached out and offered the one thing that would give life to that landscape--his living water.

Despite this, he knows she still doesn’t understand so he tells her to go and bring her husband.

Instantly shame fills her and she hangs her head a little lower. She can barely get the words out past the shame blocking her throat. “I have no husband,” she tells him.

“I know,” says the man “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

She blushes in shame and wishes the ground would open up and swallow her. But wait, she pauses. How could he know? He is a stranger here, how does he know these things about her? Her eyes widen in shock, could it be that he is a prophet? Could she be standing here talking to a prophet of God?!

Jesus stopped in the middle of the busyness of life to reach out to a woman desperately thirsty for God.  He knew her need and dropped everything for her. I like how Amy Nappa says it in her book “Thirsty”:

“It’s almost as if Jesus made a note in his appointment book: ‘Thursday, meet the woman at the well. Don’t be late.’…  He went out of his way to wait for her. And he does the same for you and me today, finding us in those unexpected places and moments.

Why did God choose that day, and that place, to open the floodgates of heaven and pour out his love into her soul? To let her go thirsty through so many years of heartbreak and husbands and debasement before her community of peers? I honestly don’t know. Who knows why God does anything, really? But I do know this: He came. And when she wasn’t there, he waited patiently for her until her own need drove her straight to his presence. And he met her, of all places, by the side of an ancient, dirty, much used, mundane, grimy well.”

He is meeting us in the everyday moments of our lives, seeking to fill the thirst we have.  Each of us broken inside in some way or another, each of us has a barren waste land that we travel , even if we don’t always knowledge it. Jesus is waiting there beside his well of living water for us to come to him in the midst of our busy day so he can pour that living water out on our dry parched life.

I find that in my life I tend to walk by that well over and over without ever stopping. I think I’m doing fine. I don’t feel my thirst until I stop for a sip and realize that I’m thirstier then I realized. So please stop for moment and let Jesus fill up the dry parched landscape of your life. Trust me when I say the encounter with Jesus is worth more than anything else you might be missing as you stop in the midst of your busy life. He’s sitting there patiently waiting; will you stop and let him fill you up?

There is so much more to this story. So much more her story, to what she learned, and how Jesus used her to bring her small town to himself, but I’m going to stop here for now. Hopefully in the near future I’ll get to the rest of her story!

“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, ¹⁴ but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:13