I hate waiting. I hate waiting for
a new book to come in the mail or the next Netflix DVD to arrive. I hate
waiting for the cookies to come out of the oven or for vacation to start.
Despite my dislike of waiting there is nothing I can do to make time move
faster. The cookies won’t bake faster just because I want to eat them and the
next DVD won’t come in the mail just because I wish it to be so. Like it or not
waiting is a part of life I can’t avoid or make go faster. Time will plod on or
zip past at its normal speed no matter what I do.
Patience has become a lost art in
our culture. If we want a mocha latte we hop in the car and drive down to the
nearest coffee shop to order ourselves one. If the movie rental place doesn’t
have the movie we want we can easily go online and order it through the mail.
In a day or two we’ll be in front of the T.V. enjoying our latest selection.
Almost anything we desire can be
found online. Want a bluetooth lock for your front door? Just head on over to
Amazon and order yourself one. How about information on the indigenousness
people of Australia? Well, Google’s got about 1,323 pages of suggestions for
you. Almost anything we question or want can be found by typing a few keywords
into the search engine of our choice.
Instant gratification is one of the
reasons waiting on God’s timing is so hard. I can’t tell you how many times I
found myself with fingers hovering over the keyboard trying to think of a way I
could word my query so Google would tell me where to find my future husband.
Obviously, Google can’t tell me where he is and neither can anyone else, but
it’s been so ingrained into me to turn to Google with my unanswered questions
that my brain automatically directs me there.
Despite my desire to trust God and
wait on his timing I still struggle with why he is making me wait. If he hasn’t
made Sally, Michael, or Beth wait, why must I? I think it’s a question that
lies heavy on the hearts of many of us. We’ve been faithful, we’ve waited, and
we’ve obeyed even when it’s been hard, and yet we’re still single while the
rest of our friends date, get married, and have children.
I’ve come to the conclusion that
God keeps us single for a reason. I look back on the years that have past and I
can clearly see, had I been married at a younger age, I would have matured
differently. I would have been shaped by my husband as much as he was shaped by
me. I believe the twenty-seven years of the singleness God has sent my way have
shaped me for a future only he can see. I’ve been set upon this path because
the character and personality I am molding today is needed for the future he
has planned for me. Despite my longing for a companion along the journey of
life I know his plans lead to sweeter places than I could dream up on my own.
His way is always better than my own.
There was point in my life where I
tried online dating. It was horrible tortuous affair. Not because of people on
the sites, but because deep down I felt as though I was pushing my agenda over
God’s. He’d prod me to listen, but I was lonely and tired of being alone, so
I’d find ways to justify keeping my account open. Things like: since there’s no
eligible men here I guess my only option is finding them online, or, I’m
getting older and I need to find someone soon. However, God slowly poked holes
in all my arguments, and even though I didn’t necessarily want to, I
reluctantly closed my account (since then, I’m immensely glad I did).
I’m not saying online dating is
bad, but I get the feeling that many of us use it as a way of circumventing
God’s design for our lives. In effect, it’s us stating that God isn’t powerful
or all-knowing enough to send us the correct mate. And if he’s not powerful
enough to send them along, then we need to go out and find them ourselves. If we believe God can send the perfect person along then it shouldn’t matter if we're
living in a hut in Africa or the heart of New York. Where ever we are, God is
faithful to send the right person along, at the right time, if it’s within his
plan for our life.
At some point, while in college, I
was given the impression I was still single because I hadn’t yet learned to be fully satisfied
by God. If I wanted to get married, I needed to grow closer to him and learn to
be completely and fully satisfied by him. Once I reached that fabled point
God would finally grant me a husband.
I think most of us have been fed
this lie.And yet, I know, no matter how hard I try, my
relationship with God will never be perfect. It will never reach a place where
I feel I no longer need to grow. Each day I grow closer to him only amplifies
the fact that I still have so much further to go. It shows me how very much I
still need him and how very far I am from being fully satisfied in him. And I
bet, if you asked any of your married friends, you’d find none of them felt
they had the perfect relationship with God before they were married (or after)
either. It’s a continual growth process
that will last me until old age and beyond.
I can choose
to see my years of waiting as blessing or a curse. I can bemoan my single state
or I can learn to see the beauty of it. If I spend my single years angry,
depressed, dissatisfied, or always waiting to live my life until my spouse
shows up I’m going to miss out on all the opportunities God has placed before
me to serve him and the blessings that go along with them.
I’d
rather live out my single years, whether they last one year or fifty, living
for God and falling deeper into his heart, than sitting by waiting to live
until I’m married. Should he never show I’d have lived a wasted life, and even
if he did, I’d have still lived wasted years waiting for him. These years of
waiting have been given as gift and I must choose to accept them with grace and
joy or disdain and ungratefulness.
There
is something inexplicably precious about getting to know the Lord with just you
and him. No spouse to distract you. No children to put first. Just you and him
and the chance to know each other intimately. So precious a gift is often
missed when we pine for future things over the gift of the present.
I leave you with the beautiful and convicting words of
Elizabeth-Ann Horsford,
